It was only a nightmare
by coltostallion
Summary: Cloud wakes up the day after Zak was shot and recounts the events of his strange dream, which encompasses the total of FFVII. Pure insanity.


Disclaimer: If I owned Final Fantasy there would be much more of Zak and he wouldn't die he would live forever in my closet

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cloud awoke with an ear piercing scream.

"Whoa!" a firm hand held Cloud's shoulder, "What's wrong?" Cloud looked up into the eyes of a man with black hair that closely resembled a certain spiny mammal.

"Zak! But… You got shot!" Cloud gaped.

"Yeah…that's why I'm wearing this itchy bandage…" Zak motioned to the piece of cloth around his upper arm.

"But you died!" Cloud yelled.

" . . ."

"And then I killed Sephiroth!" he yelped.

". . . No. . . . No you didn't. You've been out for most of the day though," Zak said.

"I did! I killed Sephiroth!" Cloud grabbed Zak's arm, the injured one of course because Zak's luck is Zak's luck.

"Who killed me?" Sephiroth walked into the room.

"I did!" Cloud told him.

"When?" the silver-haired general cocked his head.

"Just now!"

". . . and I missed it?"

Zak, after having whimpered in as manly a way as he could manage over his arm, was now inspecting the machine near Cloud's bed. Among the paraphernalia, Cloud recognized a heart rate monitor and what looked to be an industrial strength smoothie maker.

"What are you doing, Zak?" Cloud watched Zak's finger waver over the different buttons and switches.

"I'm trying to turn your medication down, you are overdosed," he said, glaring at the machine.

"That almost sounded intelligent, I'll assume it's because you aren't thinking," Sephiroth watched Zak's inspection.

"Huh?" Zak blinked as if coming out of a daydream; he frowned at the machine, then, without warning, took out his buster sword and smashed the entire pile.

"Ingenious," Sephiroth walked over to the other side of Cloud's bed and pressed a button labeled "medication off", "Zak, you're an idiot."

"Thanks! So, what were you saying?" Zak turned to the spiky haired blonde.

"Well, after you died I met Aeris and she traveled with me, a top-heavy brunette, a giant cat, a foul-mouthed pilot, a vampire, a human tank, a kid who kept stealing my materia, and a stuffed doll piloted by Reeve," Cloud started

". . . did you say top-heavy brunette?" Zak suddenly perked up.

"Then Aeris died."

"Did she talk about me?" Zak asked, shifting in the chair

"She didn't remember you, after you died I took your sword, your clothes, and you life and everyone forgot you," Cloud told him somberly.

"You have a sick mind, Spike," Zak pouted and moved to sit in a corner, "I hate you."

"Why me? Sephiroth killed her," Zak glared at the general.

"I did not kill your girlfriend!" Sephiroth threw up his hands.

". . . I hate you," Zak turned back to his corner and proceeded to have his first mental break down.

"So what about me?" Sephiroth sat in the chair Zak had vacated.

"Jenova took you over and used you as a puppet in her scheme to take over the world," Cloud told him.

". . . you do have a sick mind," Sephiroth stared at him.

"Then I killed you for the betterment of mankind and everyone was happy," Cloud told him.

". . . I hate you," Sephiroth sat in the corner next to Zak, who glared at him, mumbled something that sounded like 'murderer' and moved to the opposite corner.

"Then the great evil you summoned had to be countered, but Aeris' materia wasn't strong enough so the lifestream rose up and defeated it, I think Aeris had something to do with it, and I was a celebrated hero for saving Midgar," he added.

"Why would you want to save Midgar?" Sephiroth cocked his head, temporarily forgetting he hated Cloud.

"There were some really weird details though," Cloud said.

"Like what?" Sephiroth asked from his corner.

"Well, President Shinra died," Cloud started.

"YES!" Sephiroth and Zak yelled.

"Rufus took his place," he pointed out.

"Crap, oh well," Sephiroth shrugged, "Continue."

"That's about it," Cloud frowned, "Except I remember that I had a huge crush on you."

"Had?" Sephiroth turned back to the corner, Cloud would have sworn he was sobbing if he wasn't general Sephiroth.


End file.
